20180618 Confess to myself, self reflection

#0618: I don’t know about my true feeling but I have crush on people for simple but complicated reason

+I love English so if her is very good at English, I have good impression about her

+ I like people have same principle characteristics such as straightforward, caring, kindness, humor

+ I like people who also have talent about art and music

I don’t know I am too picky but I feel I am not a bad guy so why I don’t go to find good girl and really care about me.

#0619 Decided comeback to Viet Nam

I will try to apply a Job in USA, if it is impossible I will go back to Viet Nam.

But anyway, I will go back to Viet Nam this year or next year. Because I found that my bachelor supervisor is the head of Mechatronics Department. He also play tennis, so we found a lot of common point. I hope my career will go well and my life will become better.

Proposed to Ms. BACH KHOA. I hope she won’t reject me as all crush before. Hope for the best. Hope thing go well.

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20180601 Her, keep patient and let her feel about your attention

#0601 I must admitted that I am really bad in sense of emotion

After a lot of fail, I know it is time to change the way following girl in a better way. More gentle, kindly and let her feel that you really care for her.

#0604 I still felling confused about my feeling and don’t know what to do.

I want to rush but must restrain my feeling. That make me feel so irritate. Following is the most difficult task that we can not finish without girl’s permission :))

I have got kicked from a Clan in Clash of Clan because :

1- Forgot to take two attacks in war, 2-Talk too much,

3-Give a lot of opinions while I am just a new member

That is my feeling but I really want to ask the leader the main reason I got kicked out. I felt the same feeling when A girl kick me just because she don’t like me 😂😂. I don’t know who could like an ungentle, straightforwardly guy like me. Every girl I met, I can’t help thinking why they don’t like me back :)). May be, Am I really like them. I don’t know, but If they don’t give me a chance how could I understand her and really like them. That is contrary of life, fuck my self for too unlucky in finding the one.

15:14 Pm. Suddenly don’t know what to do, why following girl made my mind so tired. Thinking too much and don’t know what is my true feeling.

#0604 Hu hu can’t control my feeling

I don’t know this is crush feeling or I really like her. But how can I transform from crush to actually like her if she doesn’t give me a chance, turn on green light. I know I must chance because If I confess all thing to her she will be more defence and feel that I am forcing her to like me back. Ok we need time to make her feel about your care and your attention.

Control your natural character is very hard. But you need to do if you want to change your life from single to married 😂😂😂

#19:58 I couldn’t help to sent her a message :)) Just ask I don’t see her day on Facebook recently

I don’t know It is ok or not, but If you like why you don’t try. I am afraid if getting rejected again but If I don’t ask how could I understand her😂😂. If she care hope she will feedback soon.

1108 Pm: Got blast criticized from her and I know I am wrong, ok I like her straight forward character.

I have bad behavior when advise her to do or read something that I think It is good for her. Ok, another experience I have learned. Never advise someone to do things, they do what they like 😂😂. I don’t know she will hate me more or not. Ok the contrary of us have just started😅😅

Like a Facebook post of her from 2016 and she said I shouldn’t dig up her fb. I feel she clearly doesn’t have any chemistry with me. So, I should stop follow her or not. I don’t know. It is so hard to find a girl care about you and try to understand you 😂😂😂

“Vâng anh chú ý lần tới thích ai thì đừng đào fb ng ta từ mấy năm trc lên ng ta sợ đấy ạ 😂”

I decipher this message clearly say that she don’t like me. Good luck me with the next girl, may be you are lucky and could find your “The one”. I don’t know what to do, should I stay follow her, try my best to make her like me back. Or Just give up and find another girl and get rejected again. I don’t know. Sentiment is not easy to decide as mathematic. They don’t only have two choice TRUE OR FALSE, you couldn’t make a clear answer with out long time enough.

Okay, I will try to connect with her until her birth day( The Pocky day) If I see no chemical reaction, I should give up and go on. 😂😂😂. So I hope I won’t have “Lần tới” anymore. I still hope I can make her like me back. Good luck for me

#0606 Can’t help thinking about her

I don’t know but every time I like someone, I couldn’t help thinking about her. Want to make attention, look like a teenager. I don’t know who can like an immature guy like me 😂😂. So hard to find someone accept my childish.

I still like her therefore I am okay with her fastidious character. I don’t know what should I do to persuade her accept my bad and good character.

#0607 Read an article from a facebook friend, can’t describe my feeling when she wrote she is happy while waiting phone from someone everyday

I don’t know what is may feeling toward her. I am impressed by her character, passion about running, English ability,… But I admitted that she doesn’t have graceful beauty as in my mind. She doesn’t give me positive feedback also. I still follow her because I still have some emotional about her. I should ask my friend, does her have BF or not. It is not importance to everybody body, but it is importance to me. I really don’t want follow a girl that don’t have clearly statement about her relationship. But I know, I couldn’t force someone act like you want. I must give them freedom, When they feel need to say they will say.

9:09 I want to talk with someone who know me and. Understanding so much.

I don’t know how to make the girl I follow understand about me 😂😂. I have both good and bad points but most of my bad point is in appearance, the good point hide deeper inside. I am reading”The catcher in the rye” now because I like her, I like English also, I want to know why she love this classic novel so much. I agree that to understand someone you should read what they read and try to join thing they like. You need understand them before you request them to understand you. I am planning to attend mountain hiking this weekend because I want to prove to her that I care about her It made me also like mountain and tree.

#0608 Still like her but worry that It will be sad ending as usual

I don’t know why but every girl I like, I felt I can give up everything to follow them. Set them at highest priority for a short time. But when they didn’t feedback as I expected I immediately forgot them or be cold to them. I never experience love so I don’t know what it is, am I doing right or I should change.

I know we should expect less and live more but it is hard to follow. Like you understand how to play like federer but you can’t imitate his posture. The big gap between what you think and reality made you disappointed.

I hope she don’t hate me so I still have chance to change her mind. It is near impossible mission when I know, she is more stubborn than me 😂😂😂

Good luck me again.

#0609 I am gradually understand what love is

Everything need time to feel and love is also. I and her, both of we need time to feel that does this half is compatibility with you. Could you live with them for your remaining life.

#0610 I miss her so much and I don’t want to lost her

I want to talk with her but every time we talk we fight with words =)). I I like her and don’t want her hate me because my bad in using words and chat.

A. I don’t know what should I do, If I refrain from talking with her, how could I understand her and let her understand me. How could we can go to close together.

B. But If talk to her, we often end in fight I don’t say about physical fight, I say about fighting by words. She is the master of using words because she had read for entire of her life. It looks like you (3 years tennis) play again 20 years experience in Tennis master. And every thing you say, she got sick and think that’s rich. I am ok with everything she say because I like her. But I scared that her don’t like me anymore when she know that the vast gap in level of using words between us 😂😂😂

#0611 I don’t know why I want to talk with her so much.

What should I do, i don’t know.

#0613 Do I really like her or it is just my unsatisfied feeling

I don’t know but I have impressed about her, want to talk with her. Just it, but as my friend said, I want to chat or talk just because I like that, not because I like her. But how could I know I like her if I don’t know anything about her.

After reading The Shawshank Redemption, Dead Poets Society, I begin have guts to talk with her again. Ok she doesn’t like me and don’t have any interest with me, but it is because she doesn’t know anything about me like Me know nothing about her. So why don’t give a chance to understand each other. I know it is impossible but If I fear I will live in FA life for the remaining of my life 🙂

11:11 Am Bad day

#CarNeedRepair
#BossUrgeYouFinishDeadline
#HaveOnly11YenInYourWallet
#Don’tKnowHowToMakeInterestingConversation

Okay fine, I won’t fear about failure. I still hope about the better future.
“Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free.”
The Shawshank Redemtion

I begin to get the guts to talk with her after one week afraid that I could lost her if I continue have boring conversations. She doesn’t reply she don’t like me but she mean I should find the other girls because we are incompatible. I know there are a lot of different between us but we also have a lot of common, Humor, wild mind inside, like freedom, morality, friendly, straightforward. I admire her knowledge about world literature her passion about hobbit world. I don’t know I like her and want to understand about her more. And I really want to know the reason she doesn’t like me back. What is my wrong, how could I correct it to make her change attitude to me.

I don’t care someone will read sobbing diary. I am reading ” The catcher in the rye” and I feel I have the same free soul as the main character. I will express all my thinking here and I will relieve my soul a lot. If lucky, she read it and change her mind I will be the most happy guy in the world. If she don’t care and she don’t like me, I learned that I must stand up and go on.

I want to go to in front of her and say that “Hope is not dangerous, Hope set you free”

I am so depressed now, I don’t know what I am wrong. Why every girl I meet, they don’t like me although they said that I am good 😂😂🙄🙄.

10:12 Pm I still don’t know why she don’t like me. What am I wrong, I understand that love need chemistry and she doesn’t feel any chemistry from me. So could I have chance to make chemistry to our relationship. I hope I can do because hope set me free. I still like her and like until her have found “The one”, if “The one” is not me, I wish her all the best and have a happy life.

#0614 Trying to forget her, my one-sided like girl again .

She think she have no chemistry with me. So I should stop follow her because If I try to follow l her, the result will be the same with cases before. So before everything go worse, try to escape it and use your rational thinking.

Decided Ignore her messages. If next year, I still like her, and I and her still are single I will follow her again.

…..

Waiting for “The one” again and hope she like me 😀😀

20180601 Tsukuba Life, back to Nagoya

#0601 Decided to comeback Nagoya just because of one post about coffee time at Nagoya Library Starbucks

Now Waiting at Vip Lounge Tokyo for an excitement trip back to Nagoya where

On Saturday,

6-8 Am, run 10 km on the morning with Phuoc, Thinh and other acquaintances at Kawana Park

9:30-11:30 Am, Coffee with Kurofune startup about job in Japan with attention of Chu Bao Trung and maybe Nguyen Xuan Phuoc

12:00- 16:00 Thai Festival with Thing Truong and friends

1

16-18:00 Play tennis at Nagoya University Court

On Sunday

6-8 Am Tennis at Tsurumai Park

9:00-10:00 Have breakfast with NXP at Gasuto Gokiso

11-15 Sleep =))

16- 18:00 Tennis at Nagoya University Court

23:00 Move back to Tsukuba

Enjoy crazy life when you still FA. =))

So danger

10:20 Pm. waiting with 15 people to get on Vip Liner Bus and a Japanese guy glide past. I thought He intent to clash with our group and I am unlucky man. I just slightly touch left hand to him but he stop listening phone and see back and shout a very noise sound like why I don’t say sorry to him. Actually, the contact is too fast and I don’t have time to realized that I have tough his hand. Hm he may be a guy to be fond of taking a quarrel by nature. Or He just has a lot of stress like me but don’t know how to flush them. I think I should thank to Tennis which help me flush all of my stress.

#0604 Finished my plan for two weekends day

Waiting at Tokyo stations- Yaesu and filling some pictures in the plan to prove the success .

12:11 Pm Check my Jp post bank account and realized that I only have 6 man for living. And through away all my hesitation, I asked my cousin for a short term loan T_T. I don’t know what am I trying hard for.

18:07 I felt ashamed when I ate all Mang Cut, that a friend from Nagoya want to give to his friend at AIST. I had sent messages but they don’t reply so i think they don’t need and ate all of them 😂😂

#0612, Every day I think about her, could we be compatibility and live together.

Thought about her every time make me could remember where I through my selfie stick. It make me horsing around for 30 minutes and finally I remember that I throw it in the back seat of my car.

I don’t know what to do, but think about her is my highest priority.

20:23 Go to extend using of my car and a lot of trouble happen

1. I went to wrong place that inspect normal vehicle

2. Turn back and go to Light Vehicle Inspection Association Ibaraki Office, Tsuchiura Branch

A. Got broken one light at number plate position

B. Front light elbow in wrong position

3. When in the way back home I realized the temperature lamp wink, there are some problem in colder system

Tomorrow I must go to fix all of that stuff

Hope everything okay with me. I still like her but don’t know how to speak with her.

#0620 A lot of thing want to do

I am drowning in ambition to learn every thing. I want to be good at English, pro in tennis and fly high in career. And I want to find “The one”, but I don’t know where is she. So I chose to go around the world to find her.

#20180518 Her, scared of following girl again

#0518 I don’t known should I follow H. A or not.

She close her facebook, reject my invitation, so I felt ashamed. I don’t know I could overcome me ego to talk with her again. I still have good impression on her but I need some more signal from her to start talk with her again.

So, I think I should keep silent until I feel I want to talk with her.

#0518 Just read a new blog from QT she is so special.

I don’t know why I still want to reconnect with her although every time we chat, we want to block each other immediately =)). I don’t know but It looks like we have same opinion about life inside but total different character outside. I don’t know how to do but let’s time and faith decide.

Overthinking and don’t know which is true. Ok, try to be calm, take care about people you like, If they care you back that is “The one” you should follow.

#0518 Which is my true feeling

Confused about my feeling, because I felt uncomfortable if I chat with a girl just for reason that I want to be her friend.

But ok, like tennis. When you feel awkward that is signal that you are changing.

#0519 I have a short conversation with her after one week keep silent.

She open access to her account so I could understand about her more. She still have high ego but willing to chat with me. We are opposite signs so compatibility is not easy. But why don’t give it a chance 🙂

#0523 Suddenly feel worried about getting married

I still don’t know where is the one but I feel they day I will get married is coming. I desire to find the one but also worried about my future, could she endure my childish character, or how do we manager conflicts because I worry that I may not make her happy as she wish. I don’t know the conflicting inside my mind. Life is so hard to handle. And some time, you can’t stop worry about thing you can’t control.

17:33 Could not help thinking about her. I like her but I am worrying about failure and don’t know how to make conversation with her. I don’t know how to stop overthinking. Should focus on my love Tennis to be have sane mind and figure out what to do.

#0524 Look at her facebook and mine, realized that my Facebook looks so ugly 😂😂

Every picture on her facebook looks like took from a movie scene. Her style is romantic, gentle and fantasy why me is romantic, realistic, and effective. I like her so much but scare more that It may end in unwanted way and I will be sad again. But I don’t care, I had experience bitter of love enough and i don’t care untill I could enjoy the sweet of love. Best wish and luck for me.

#0525 Decided to focus in research and hobby.

One girl feel disturbing from my daily message as we are close friends but We are merely acquaintances. Other girl said to her mother that we are not compatibility. So I thought I should give them free time to feel that am I deserve to be their the one and Do I really like them.

When you give love free, If it follow you, you deserve it. If not you don’t need to disappointed about it.

Keep away about must getting marriage, make them feel comfortable. Try your best and good luck to me.

#0526 I don’t think there are only one the one in your life, there are a small number of people that compatibility with you and by chance one of them will be your the one.

So I don’t worry If someone reject me because she feel not compatibility, It is signal to go on and continue to find someone accept you.

Ok keep restrain my emotion and behavior as a gentle man.

16:00 I just have a glimpse over her photo album and Impressed by her character and style.

She have great sense of art and humor, she traveled a lot and experience everything The Hobbit village in New Zealand, Balkan Lake in Russia, Take photo with lion in Thai Land,… So everything about her

#0527 Trying so badly to restrain my urging feeling to follow girl again. I will change my way of following girl and let them feel, if they care about me I will see. If they don’t I won’t be disappointed anymore.

Past: I always follow girl in disturbing way

Current : I still follow them but in silent way, when I feel We have something in common I will talk to them. I won’t deadly follow them anymore. I need spent my time to enjoy life, not to feel painfully about getting rejected.

#0529 Still in troubling of how to repress my emotion.

Actually, I don’t know what to do. Just read her blog and must admitted that she has good writing skill.

#0514 Tsukuba Life deadline end of this month

#0514 Be careful

my boss said that I should be careful about my respond for work, when I sad I will go back last week but I have postponed for one week. And we will have a demonstration end of this month, so a lot of stress and I think I should find out way to resolve it. Poor me =))

Could not stop overthinking, how can I understand program. It is so complicated.

12:58 Should train to control. My mind don’t overthinking just take it easy and let it be. If you like don’t be shy

8:12ーpm I am feeling shy because I am not a good player so people don’t want to play with me. Feeling alone but I won’t give up. Because I love tennis, so I could endure lonely to live with tennis for the rest of my life.

#0518 Give a stranger one washing machine and an electric thermos pot

A member of việt Tsukuba ask for some domestic electric appliance for her younger brother who just came to Tsukuba to learn Japanese

I had a spare washing machine and electric thermos pot, so I give it to him and bring it to his home on the way I back from early morning tennis at Ichinomiya Resident of Tsukuba University. I felt happy when I could help someone.

When you do other a favour, don’t require payback. Keep giving away and you will receive surprised gift at somewhere in sometime.

#0520 Football at Tsukuba University and discuss about Tsukuba Robotic Challenge

First time I play with Vietnamese students of Tsukuba University. Ya, football is a good way to relax, connect people and feel that life is still worth to enjoy=)).

A lidar for Tsukuba challenge. I discussed with Ryodo about our challenge in November and I hope i will learn a lot about SLAM and Ubuntu when I work with him.

#0524 Discuss with my boss and know what to do

I felt ashamed when I couldn’t finish anything. Ok it is so hard to cant do good work, find the one and follow your love about tennis.

22:05 Want to confess to someone but couldn’t find anyone have time for me. I know I rant like an adolescent girl but I couldn’t stop my brain think about everything in my life. Hu hu I really need someone hear me ramble about life.

#0528 Dinner with two tennis girl at Forest tennis circle

We had very good time dinner together and talk about tennis, stuff in life. They are very open and kind, I think I am true when decided to cancel tennis training today to have fun, enjoy dinner with two 3rd year Tsukuba University student.

Ton of stress in my mind. I feel I could not handle it. Know nothing about code, and trying to figure out from scratch.

#0529 I have cried so hard when I see How I meet your mother Season 6-9

https://toomva.com/video/how-i-met-your-mother-season-6-9-glitter=907

All of us wish that we have a BFF who care about us. I felt compassion with Ted when I am living alone, single and getting old. I still don’t have any signal from “The One”. I am dying in finding you 🙂

#0531 Decided to go back Nagoya in the last day of May

And my boss come aside and said he need simulation results. Trying to debug program and got tired. Fuck my research life, how can I find solution.

20180513, her, turning point of my life

#0513 Wake up in the morning and realized she has blocked my message and unfriend me on Facebook.

On the way to flight back to Japan and reflect on myself about my behavior in following a girl.

I have learned:

1. Don’t spam girl when she had said she don’t like you. Keep patient, be gentle and waiting for the right time to talk with her again, if not she will block or unfriend you, and it is more difficult to connect with her again.

2. If you really like a girl, don’t matter how did she treat you, block you, unfriend you or ignore your messages, you still like her and follow her. Your should understand that, to follow a perfect girl is an impossible task if you can’t overcome your ego and have enough patience.

3. Each girl have something to teach you, don’t waste time groaning why she don’t like you back, why she block you. Take time to reflect yourself and learn from your failure.

4. Decided to reconnect with a girl, who hate me, blocked me, unblocked me, I blocked her, and now unblocked her again :)). Because I think If I could endure her crazy character I should throw away my ego and follow her again . I accept to break my rule because I still like her. This time I will try just be friend and if we think we can be together. We will continue.

#0514 Change your way in following a girl

Everything take time, she taught me but I am too stubborn to accept it. Like yesterday morning when I drive car to Noi Bai Airport, I saw a sign said that I should go straight why My sister sad I should turn left. After one day rethinking about it, both are true because it also have a crossing bridge to connect with international departure T1. I know we should keep calm and discuss before giving any judgements to anyone.

#0515 Talk again with girl who had blocked me before

So our relationship looks like we hav divorced and now talk again. I felt so awkward and it is really a very uncomfortable feeling. But I still like and want to talk with her so I just want to give me a chance again. If she doesn’t accept it, I respect her choice. So a lot of stress. Could not understand how to flirt a girl. Or my “The one” still not appear. I don’t know, just try to do things I want and do it from bottom of my heart.

Honestly, I felt like I and her are getting divorced because she block my facebook, and I chose to follow a younger girl, after I got rejected by 96 girl I want to reconnect with her. Shameful me but I don’t care about my edo or my esteem, If I still like her I don’t care about past, just do thing I like.

I felt like I get lost in my mind and don’t know what to do, who should I follow, who really care about me.

Ok calm down and remember that you and she is noy friend and you should be gentle and respect her feeling.

#0517 Don’t know what to do so I keep freeze

I like her and want to chat or talk with her but I don’t know how to start. I am afraid of failure again =)). Poor me, I felt tired of following so I thought I should take rest for 2-3 month to reflect about my past action and figure out better way to approach girl I like.

20180506 Her, is she the actual the one of my life, I think so

I am sorry when I forgot my previous her so fast but I thought We don’t need spend time to care about people who don’t like us. Spend time on people who care about you and like you as you like them

#0506 I am anxious for tomorrow meet up with Her

She is a super active, cute girl from Law University. I like her English style, her positive thinking about life and the way she reply friend’s comment. I don’t know what should I do to impress her but I think, to be honest is the most importance character we need in our partner. So If I like her I won’t hesitate to let her know that and reasons why I like her. I hope she could give me a chance to understand her.

#hopeforthebest #Hopethingsgowell

#unexpectedLife

#0507 can not hold my anxious feeling about meeting with her tonight

I felt this is the first date with some one who care about me. She is so special and I can’t help feeling about her and how to connect with her.

I just want her to lower her criteria in chosing the one of her life. I mean, i have overcome 33 years on the FA road to find the one, confront a lot of trouble and got ton of rejected. So I hope she could accept me as fast as she can do. Don’t make me tired in following the one anymore.

I could say I like her but I am not sure will she like me as much as I am and could overcome every trouble of life with me.

0508 7:01 Pm, wake up at 4:51 Am and writing this note. I feel the meet up went well. I know I am not going to find Ms. Perfect, I am going to find Ms. MutualLike, who I like and she also like me back. We still need time to increase connection to stand each other’s bad character =)). I will try to keep in touch with and hope things go well and we can overcome difference about opinion, character, esteem, ego….

#0508 Sent an email to boss about my postpone for work hope lucky will come

ぶいです。
お忙し中、大変申し訳ございません。実はベトナムに帰って、お見合いがあります。
仕事はもちろん第一優先していますが、家庭が安定し、仕事に集中できる事は理想かと思います。
そのため、今週はベトナムにいます、来週の月曜日から仕事に戻ります。残業とか頑張ってプロジェクトの進捗に貢献します。
ご理解程よろしくお願いします

#0509 Totterring feeling about Her

Thinking about her all day and wandering, does she worth for me to off 1 week from work, shamelessly send her message to invite her hangout with me. I have my own pride, my validity, I will try my best until the end but I hope her know that and have suitable feedback. I realized that if a girl doesn’t care about you and you are merely an unilateral pity follower, she isn’t deserve your effort. Keep go on and I find the Ms. Care who can see good characters inside your soul through Facebook posts =))

Having 3 days remain and I hope I can use it effectively.

#0511 Pockyday and is Pocky Girl the right one for you or The one is Libra Girl

I have good impression about Her but I don’t know how to connect with her. I decided to follow both pocky girl and libra girl. If one of these girl is the right one, they will care about me as much as I care about her.

11:10 Am Libra girl ignore my invitation message and Pocky Girl gently reject my invitation with reason : She is busy, Her boss does agree her tp. Have break time to hang out with me. I know finding the one is not an easy task, I realized that I should appreciate girl who ignore me or reject my invitation, because they help me to know who is the right one and who really care about me and live with me for the remaining life. My future wife, please stay calm and patient, I am trying my best on the way to find you.

“Never give up, even when you see a dead end. Not until you try your best, because you will know you tried your best at the dead end”- Pinterest. Com