01/01 4:.56 I couldn’t express how I am happy when she have finally replied my message. Past one month is really tough and cold time for me. But I know there still have long hard road ahead, the winter may be even colder when she start focus to write her final thesis. I don’t know how to do now, really need some hint or help 😢
01/02 She ignored my Insta messages again. I am so impatient and irritating about her reaction. Why she keep distance with me, if she don’t like me or she already found the one please clearly tell me. Your vague feedback give me hope but also kill me softly. I don’t know how to overcome this feeling. But I think i would stop follow her if she still keep distance with me. I must admitted that when a girl keep distance with you, It means that she doesn’t like you but she is too shy to clearly tell you.
1/03 I really miss her so much but I know why. She gives me time to reflect inside myself to know what is my innermost. Am I really love her as I think and could we overcome mismatch between us when we meet each other. Love is so complicated, It needs a lot of factors to make two people become a couple. And I know that meet right people at right time, in right place is one of crucial point.
I am now at the bottom of sinusoidal life and I will try to my best.
I have viewed her video about book introduction on Facebook and miss her so much. But i feel like I am having illusion about my missing. Reading “thinking fast and slow” of Daniel Kahneman make me think too carefull, reconsider all circumstances and lost my brave to risk on finding the one. But I will try not being effected by Kahneman, his theory is incredible amazing but it is general information. If we don’t take high risk how could we get high return and feeling happy of life. We must accept that life include : Happy, Sad, Angry, Calm, love, envious…. . So enjoy Life in your own way and respect others. I sometimes want to stop follow her because I feel disappointed, why i have tried every possible ways but she still seem have no emotion upon me. Is she the real the one or it is just my illusion about the maybe one. Should I stop follow her and focus on my present life, hangout with my nearby friend, finish work assignments, hunting good job for my future. I don’t know what should I do, i am feeling lost now, because in my mind, I want to have a happy family and a happy family will motivate you achieve higher career and hard working.
#1/07 Sunday 5:06 pm
I have just confessed to her about my feeling. I am ready to accept the reality of rejection. Waiting for it. If she didn’t answer I will stop send private messages to her to say that I have my pride and won’t waste time to follow unreal thing.
Good luck me.
10:28 She have seen my messages at 9:37 Pm how did she feel? I am dying to know her feeling. Does she think I am too crazy in love or insane people. I know that I am ready for the worst answer as know as painful rejection but I still feel nervous and anxious. Really don’t know how to calm down and keep focus on other works. Poor me :((
#1/09 11:40Am Tuesday Desperate waiting for her message. Don’t know what to do, how could I restrain my incomplete feeling. But I also worry about my real feeling, will I follow her everywhere she want if she accept to openly chat with me. How we handle generation distance and differences in perspective view. That is a tough problem but I hope I could lower down my ego, support her dream and amplify our common point.
8:09 Pm I have just saw a pic from her insta with thoughtful quote wrote in a quote card “Thích ai đó là hạnh phúc” – “Have someone to like is happy”. Okay T_T, I will keep optimistic and hope for the better future.
I can’t help thinking about her. I want a clearly answer from her, but I must restrain from forcing he to answer my question. I know If I have excessive claim, I may receive a cruel fury, rage from her. So I only could write down my feeling here and hope in one day, she answers my questions. My only way to keep follow her is like her facebook and insta post everyday. I don’t know how long I could keep this motivation, but without them I can’t calm down my passion about her.
#1/11 6:07 Pm I don’t know why i miss her so much and desire to chat with her. Want to chat and talk more but she doesn’t update Facebook this time. Yesterday, I saw her was tagged on Vice FTU President ‘s post and not miss the chance to chat with her about that topic. But after one question I don’t know how to continue 😦 poor me.
#1/16 10:30 Am. I don’t know did I really miss her or I just want some one to chat, share feelings.
But every time I read her facebook or Insta, I feel intimate as I know her longtime before. They way of her thinking, feeling about life, close friend, family members show great care and support. I want to talk with her but I am troubling with which topic is suitable and make her feel easy to talk. Life is so complicated and not easy to solve.
Today, we have big match Vietnam – Quatar. I just want to find out a reason to talk with her and I asked will she watch this national match. She is online but not read and answer my questions. How anxious Am I in waiting for her messages. I feel I am a stupid and desperate follower. Miss her so much.
Wow Việt Nam win and ultimately she answered my messages. So lovely retraction and I hope for the best future of Us.